Excerpts from Chapters 1 - 3

EXCEPT FROM CHAPTER ONE

He started coming around about thirteen years ago. Our first encounter took place in a dream. I was lost, sitting on the ground in the middle of the woods. I marveled at the uninhibited wildlife and for the first time in my life I didn’t envy the freedom others seemed to enjoy so much, and I longed to experience. I looked into the dense mass of trees and watched the animals play. I saw birds singing, lighting and flitting from one branch to another. There were nests with baby birds waiting to be fed by their mothers and spider webs that glistened from the touch of a ray of sunlight. The webs were larger than any I’d ever seen before yet they were intricately and delicately crafted. They were so magnificent you would have thought that only a master artist could have imagined and brought to life such beautiful designs.

With an overwhelming feeling of comfort and great satisfaction I nestled into the ground and lay bare on the long, wet blades of grass. The grass was so tall it almost covered my body. It was still wet from the morning dew yet its blades were sharp and cutting. Still, to the animals that occupied the plain it was comforting and restful.

In that moment, I became more aware of the artistry and beauty of an untouched nature. My surroundings were both provocative and soothing. Everything had a meaning and a specific purpose…even the dead carcasses that lay decaying on the ground. They would fertilize and feed the earth so the plants and trees would grow healthy and strong and all the animals of the world would have the vital foods they need to exist. I thought long and hard about life and how everything came to be. I realized the hands of God had beautifully crafted the scenery and everything in it…including me. Everything was pure, clean, and unharmed by the effects of man.

A feeling of dread and alarm raced through me for an instant. I sat upright; perfectly still, unsure of whether I was capable of moving or what I should have been doing at that moment. I looked at the lower part of my body but I wasn’t sure of what I was seeing. I can only assume now what I saw were my legs. I was cold and an overwhelming weakness saturated my lower body. It was numb and didn’t feel like it was a part of me. I looked up at the sky and, again, for a moment, I got caught up in the beauty and freedom of the life forms around me. The insects and birds flying through the air, large and small animals, and what seemed to be millions of micro biotic organisms moving through the grassy plain captivated me. The trees were alive and waving in the warm, soft breeze that blew over me. I felt the life-giving energy of the sun as it gently warmed and caressed me. The birds circled the sky and whistled soothing sounds that made me feel rested and comfortable.

The invasive steps of an intruder rudely interrupted the sounds of nature - the birds singing, the wind blowing and the numerous sounds made by the animals in the wooded area. And, even though the dew moistened the grass I heard crackling sounds, twigs snapping and leaves being crushed. The birds screamed out warnings of the intruder and flew away in flocks. There were so many birds they created a dark blanket across the sky as they moved away. Still I sat there. A strange feeling, a combination of calm, fear and strength came over me and I listened attentively for any sound that was not a natural part of my environment. Directed by my sense of smell I turned and looked to the south in the direction of the dense trees. I sat perfectly still and waited for the intruder to emerge and come to me.

I relaxed my body and lay flat with my face next to the ground and studied the shadows. All but one was familiar. It was as tall as the trees but it was not still like the trees. It moved … and it was moving toward me. The closer it got to me the smaller it grew in size. It was the shadow of a man, a tall, thin man who suddenly was standing in front of me. This man stood as rigid as a tree, looking down on me and grinning with every tooth in his mouth showing. His teeth were small, jagged at the edges and somewhat malformed. They were bright yellow and muted green with big splotches of brown on some of them. Many of them were chipped and ragged but they shined and glistened like they had been polished. The stranger stood in front of me for a long time before he said or did anything. After what seemed to be eternity he sat down next to me. Still, he didn’t say a word. Tears streamed down my face without warning and uncontrollably. I was not afraid but I knew I was in danger. The man looked into my eyes and smiled even harder than before. He smiled so hard the edges of his mouth stretched taunt from one end of his face to the other.

He slowly and ceremoniously twisted and squeezed both of his hands together and held them in front of my face. He acted as though the movement of his fingers and hands was supposed to mean something to me. He twisted the fingers of his left hand around his right, squeezing all of his fingers down except the one he used to point at me. He squeezed his hand so tight that his knuckles and fingernails turned white. I stared at his finger as it moved close to my face. I watched it as though I had no choice and until my eyes crossed. He touched my face and followed the pattern of my tears. The man’s smile slowly left his face. He, instead, had a look of intensity and determination in his eyes. I felt like he was looking inside of my soul. His eyes pierced mine. I tried to turn my head away from his enslaving gaze but I could not move. The man pressed his finger firmly under my eye. His hand was hot and soft but his touch was fiery, firm and forbidding. The heat from his hands reached me before his finger touched me. The wetness of my tears sizzled and dried and my skin burned from the intensity of the heat. He meticulously followed the pattern of my tears and erased them away, leaving a bruise and scar to mark the places where his finger touched me.

Before I knew it this man had cupped my chin in the palm of his hand and guided my face over and up so close to his I could not tell if it was my breath or his that warmed my nose. His eyes twinkled like stars. A smile crept oddly from one side of his face to the other until all I could see were glistening teeth and crinkled, twinkling, almost closed eyes. I wondered if he was a friendly force coming to my rescue or an evil force coming to destroy me. The firmness of his grip began to intensify. It became frightening and unyielding. I tried to resist and push him away but I felt as though I had no resistance in me. Still, he had my chin cupped in his hand and I could not open my mouth. My teeth were firmly clasped together. I tried to scream out, No…leave me alone, but his grip was much too strong. I tried to pull away from him and move my head from side to side to indicate my displeasure and uneasiness with this stranger but he had such a firm grip I couldn’t move. He placed his other hand on the back of my head and in one swift movement he pulled me to an upright position, face-to-face with him.

This stranger with the brownish, leather-like skin pulled me closer, his grip became stronger and his strange smile turned into a twisted frown. He opened his mouth as he drew me nearer and he acted like he was trying to eat me, whole. Quickly, he took his hand from behind my head and grabbed my body. Oddly, my fears began to diminish and I felt like I had more control over him than he had over me. My lower body was no longer limp; it was strong. I could feel my strength surging, almost bursting, throughout every muscle. For the first time since our encounter I looked at this man knowing I had the upper hand. He glared fearlessly back into my eyes yet the twinkle in his eyes had gone away. His eyes were opened wide. They were as large as the acorns that fell from the trees. They were wide with a bodacious challenge in them. I moved closer to the man’s face so I could look directly into his eyes and accept his challenge. Upon closer examination I could see that there was something in the center of his eyes. Whatever it was, it looked like small galaxies where several hundred stars orbited around some source of energy, a dark energy. Still, I readied myself to meet his challenge, whatever it was. I felt more in control than ever and I also began to feel more like a predator than a victim.

I watched with interest as this man raised his arms up in the air and cupped the top of his head this time. Quickly, he turned as though he was about to leave. Just as quickly as he turned I felt the hard ground meet and punish my body like I had been slammed and thrown onto it. Within a few seconds I was again looking at the man, eye-to-eye. In the next moment I was on the ground again but this time I had not been dropped or thrown, it was where my will led me to be.

I felt an odd, warm, fullness in my mouth and I saw blood shooting from the man’s leg. Instinctively, I wrapped myself around him and began to squeeze him. I looked down at his feet and saw the tail of a large snake moving from side to side. I was not afraid. I was excited and empowered. The man’s eyes were opened wide and the reflection of a gigantic black and yellow diamond-backed snake stared at me. I stared at the reflection in his eyes for a few minutes, admiring the sheer beauty and strength of that magnificent snake. I was fearless, my confidence and desire had become one…control. The man’s mouth opened and I could see the outlining of hundreds of spirits being released into the air. To the human eye, it would have appeared he opened his mouth and nothing came out of it. But, being a part of the animal kingdom I saw what no man could see…the spirits that had been locked up inside of him had just been released upon the world.

Like a constrictor, I held him and he could not escape my grip. I squeezed him until he fell to the ground. I held him tight until the pounding of his heart and the pulsation of the blood moving through his veins had stopped. Even after he stopped moving I squeezed him. I kept on squeezing him until I heard bones snapping. I stopped this man from moving altogether almost the way he stopped me from moving earlier. I held him until the bones in his neck were crushed and the weight of the blood in his head pulled it down and caused it to swing aimlessly from side to side. His body became heavier as the blood drained from the top of his head and body down into his trunk, legs and arms. I continued to squeeze him even though his body had been limp and lifeless for hours. I heard a loud pop as my mouth stretched open and my jawbones unhinged. I put the man’s head in my mouth and crushed it until all of the bones had collapsed. I felt his shoulder blades scrape the roof of my mouth so I squeezed him until his shoulder bones were also crushed flat and small. Each movement I made sucked more of the man’s body into my mouth and further down my throat. Each movement caused the man to be crushed into smaller and smaller pieces. I devoured his entire body and when there was nothing left of the man I slithered away.

As I moved away, I felt stranger and stronger than before and I felt another transformation come upon me. I was moving through the grass quickly. I was not flying but it felt like I was running on air. Lifted by the strength of my confidence and moving by the will of my spirit, I was unfettered by the chains of conformance, fear, doubt, and anxiety. I was free to follow my instincts. I blinked for a second and when I opened my eyes I was looking at a large brown hairy snout in front of my face. It looked like the snout of a dog but instinctively I knew it was the snout of a wolf. I had a strange feeling, like I was on the inside, looking out, of this ferocious animal. My vision had become keen and perfect and I was seeing the world around me through round yellow orbs and experiencing life with a newfound confidence. I was strong and graceful and I ran so fast through the woods that everything I saw blended into beautiful streams of colors. I felt amazingly secure and undeniably in control. Everything was familiar. All of my senses - sight, smell, hearing, taste and touch - were enhanced a great deal. I was guided by my keen sense of smell. I smelled the aroma of things familiar and unfamiliar. I know now I smelled the aromas of creatures, foods, gases, and metals. I saw a blur of bright lights in the distance. Within minutes, the blur crystallized into the image of a city. It was thrilling and exciting. I saw shiny cars, trucks, and buses speeding through the streets and creatures of every kind engaged in every imaginable activity. And, at last I was finding my way home. At that point, though, I didn’t know what or where home was. Still, I was anxious to get there.

I ran faster and faster. My stride was long and steady. The force of my back legs pushed me harder and farther, closer and closer to the lights. The closer I got, the more powerful I became. My shoulder blades were enormous and they moved with precision like the gears of a finely crafted Swiss watch. As I slowed down I began to see the beauty of my powerful physique in the shadow that moved along side of me and in the reflection of the glass in the cars and windows I passed.

Excerpt from CHAPTER TWO

He came back about a year and a half later. This time I was not dreaming. It was the fall of the year and it had been unseasonably cold. The time had just moved back an hour so it got dark outside quicker. It was about seven thirty in the evening and the absence of light from the broken streetlights made it seem darker and later. It felt like midnight and it was almost pitch black outside. My car had been in the shop for repair for two weeks and I had to catch a bus to and from work each day. The bus let me off at the bottom of the hill on Euclid Avenue. To get home I had to walk about an eighth of a mile up Superior Hill. Superior Hill was a long, steep hill shrouded on both sides by woods where untamed animals lurked and dark towers with long, winding driveways hidden behind seven-foot high bushes and steel gates loomed.

Most nights I didn’t mind the walk up the hill because another woman who lived in the building walked home with me each night. She and I talked so much about the lives of some of the people in the building it felt like we were at home a minute or two after stepping off of the bus. We were so caught up in the weekly gossip that fear never entered our minds. But, that day she didn’t get on the bus…and I panicked. I was paranoid and frightened and I didn’t want the bus to stop at all. I certainly didn’t want to get off of it. I hated myself for being such a coward, for being so dependent upon everyone else for my safety. I hated the fact I was strangled by the possibilities of what could happen and I was held in a tight grip of fear because every little thing seemed to hold an ominous, treacherous ending for me in my mind. I dreaded the darkness of the night and the dark possibilities that lay ahead.

I saw another bus a few blocks away. I prayed the woman would be on that one and I waited at the bus stop with my fingers crossed and my eyes closed tight. I was deep in prayer when the bus pulled to the curve. I peeked through my eyelashes hoping to see her step off the bus. The driver stopped only to see if I wanted to get on. My heart felt like it had dropped to my feet. I shook my head, no, and I took a deep breath. As I lifted my head to measure the distance up the hill I could feel the fear take hold and begin to paralyze each part of my body. After a few seconds, I felt totally and completely incapable of moving. I heard someone screaming, “You have to move. You can’t stay here all night. Something will get you just as sure as your name is Sarissa. Come on girl, you don’t have a choice. MOOOOOOOVE!”

The voice was so loud and clear it shook me and made me jump. I turned around in a complete circle looking for the person who screamed at me. No one was there…my mind was playing tricks on me…screaming at me, scaring me…but it gave me what I needed to move off of that spot.

My first steps were hard to make. My foot was heavy and my legs were wobbly and weak. It was difficult to move. I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach and my head was light. My throat had a big lump in it and my hands were beginning to sweat. I tried to envision myself walking through the door of my apartment but my eyes kept scanning the dark street and dreary buildings that loomed over me. I took a big gulp and started to walk, fast, up the hill. As I moved farther up the hill and closer to my apartment I began to feel strange. Suddenly, I was looking through bright, yellow orbs. I could see the large brown snout in front of my face again. The fear that had built up in me began diminishing until it disappeared all together. A feeling of uninhibited power penetrated my being. I was bubbling over with confidence like a teapot filled to the brim, its water bubbling over when the water reaches the boiling point. My mind was racing with new thoughts of courage and things to do on the way home. I wanted everyone to know how powerful and courageous I felt and I wanted to be seen and heard. I threw my head back and bayed loud to announce my presence to all who had ears to hear within a half-mile radius of where I stood. I felt my chest expand as I inhaled the cold air into my strong lungs. I could see my large, muscular, hairy shoulders moving in precision as I walked up the hill. I felt free and strong. Without a doubt I was in control. My eyes were facing forward but I could see everything going on around me. I was happy to embrace the wolf this time. I slowed my gait so I could extend my time out and enjoy more of the cool, night air. The darkness of the night was no longer intimidating nor was it frightening. The dark sky held more beauty, peace and security in it than ever before. The stars looked like bright white and blue diamonds strewn randomly across a black velvet backdrop and the moon was full and clear. I saw very few cars and hardly any people. I enjoyed every second of the time I spent walking up the hill that night.

I romped up the hill, frolicked on the sidewalk, ran into the woods and back out onto the street. I raced and chased the few cars I did see. I extended what would have been a five-minute walk into a twenty-minute adventure. My home was on the left-hand side of the street at the top of the hill. Out of fear and habit I always walked up the right-hand side of the road. I rationalized … if someone were going to jump out of his or her car to try to grab me; they would have a hard time doing it. They were going to have to get out the car and run around to the other side to get their hands on me, unless they had someone sitting on the passenger’s side that was strong enough to pull me inside. That was just one of the several fears that haunted me; and, one of the precautions I took when I walked alone. On this night, though, things were different and I was different. I courageously walked up the left side of the street.

I had to walk three blocks to get home. There was a neighborhood store and bar in the middle of the second block. I saw two men come out of the bar’s door. Almost instantly my playful mood and my perception and understanding of the things around me had changed. All of a sudden I didn’t have a destination. I was a free spirit moving through life. I understood home to be wherever I made it. And my view of the two men changed from men to creatures. They were strange and weak like the ones I had encountered more than a year ago and they were making the same kinds of strange sounds. Instead of running away from me these creatures were walking fast and running toward me. I remembered the one that had the instrument didn’t run from me. It came toward me just as they were doing. I remembered the thrashing sound of the lightning that came from the instrument of death the creature pointed at me. I slowed my gait to see if either of them would pull one of those instruments of death from its coverings.

The negative, intense heat that emanated from the bodies of the two creatures disturbed the cold, brisk, air and reached me in seconds. Still, I could not understand the sounds they made. As I moved up the hill I became stronger. At first I lifted my head, slowly, and then I tilted it up and to the right. As I lowered my head their image crystallized. They moved in unison. The heat from their bodies intensified as they moved closer and closer to me. They increased the speed of their steps and I slowed mine. I knew they were going to break their pace and split up in an attempt to overpower me. One would get in front of me and the other would get behind me. The one that would get in front of me would be the stronger of the two, capable of engaging in a frontal attack. The one behind me would be weak and more likely to run once I killed the first one. Just as I had anticipated and no sooner than the thought had completed in my mind, they broke their stride and began to move at different paces. One ran a few steps ahead of the other and the other dropped back a few steps. This put them right in the position I had anticipated.

I planned to attack the one that would have been behind me first as he would have a better chance of escape - running downhill. Then I would run uphill and get the one who would have been in front of me. The first one stood approximately fifteen steps away from me and the second was a little more than twenty steps away. They were making very loud noises and waving at me. The heat from their bodies burned me like fire. This was an indication of an animal ready to attack. I went immediately into attack mode. I slowed my steps so I could more readily meet their challenge. I locked them within my sight. I could see my snout snarl, the saliva drip from the edges of my long, sharp teeth and I could feel the heat intensify and surge throughout my body. I felt my head lower as my shoulders moved forward. Still, I kept the creatures locked within my sight. I could feel and hear the bones crack in my shoulders as my powerful forelegs stretched low to the ground and forward to stabilize my position while pushing up and back on my back and stomach. My hind legs felt as powerful as galvanized steel and would again power my lunge. Suddenly, the one closest to me stopped moving. It began reaching backwards in an attempt to make contact with the other. The second creature stopped moving within seconds of the first. Instantaneously, the heat from their bodies began reversing.

Instead of emitting the fiery waves of negative energy directed toward me, the negative energy neutralized and the heat was turned in the opposite direction. This was an indication of fear. The first creature kept reaching back toward the second. His limbs flailed aimlessly backwards in an attempt to make contact. He made loud, familiar sounds, like those of prey that had accepted defeat because it knew there was no escape. I turned quickly and locked in on the eyes of the first creature. The second creature’s lower legs were shaking, they moved apart and together at a very fast pace. By this time they were communicating with each other by screeching out high-pitched, loud sounds. The first one screeched louder and more often than the second. Because of the loud noises he made, I decided to get rid of that one first. That way, I would stop the disturbing sounds that made my ears ring shrill. They both turned and ran away from me. They looked back at me as they ran. Each time one of them looked back he would run into the other causing both of them to fall. Realizing I was no longer in danger of attack I continued to walk up the hill. I wanted to frolic in the cool of the night air. I held my head back as far as I could and bayed a loud salute to the moon, letting all know I had arrived. I was happy and I was in control.

Excertp from CHAPTER THREE

My happy mood faded when I opened the door to my apartment building. Experiencing the wolf made me realize I had no freedoms at home. I felt trapped like a caged animal. It was a miserable, constrained existence and I wanted to feel free like the wolf. I got on the elevator but didn’t push the button so I could savor the feeling of freedom a few minutes longer. Finally, I pushed the button for the twenty-first floor. I got off of the elevator and walked up the stairwell to the twenty-sixth floor just to extend the time before I’d have to go into my apartment. I exited the stairwell, turned to the right, took five steps and stood in front of my apartment door. I stood there and let out a long, belabored sigh as I stuck the key into the keyhole. I could hear the locks on my neighbor’s door unlatch and the door creaking open. I looked over at his door and it was just slightly ajar. Still, I could see him peeking at me through the small crack in the door. The subtle scent of Aramis seduced my nostrils and filled me with pleasant thoughts of being held gently by the man of my dreams … the one who had yet to exist in my life. I stuck my tongue out at him and he jumped away from the door, letting it open completely. I heard him fall over his furniture and curse as he hit the floor. Next I heard glass breaking and more cursing. I laughed at my neighbor as I turned the key. I let the door creak open slowly. The thought of going in saddened and frustrated me. I didn’t want to face the dreary, unhappy life that awaited me. I wanted to go back outside and become the wolf again. I needed that feeling of freedom.

Through the small opening in the door I smelled the scent of an unclean woman drowning in Coco Chanel perfume. I swung the door open and there she was - an unclean woman sitting on my sofa. I wanted to scream, “You’re supposed to wash your stinking butt before you put Chanel on.” but I forced myself to smile at her. Next to her was Robert, my husband, Jerry’s, best friend. Beads of sweat popped out of his forehead and he had a strange look on his face. The stinking woman sat there rolling her eyes up and down, looking me over. For a second my imagination took over and I saw myself slapping her so hard her eyes stuck in that position, at the top of her head looking up. I let out another long sigh but this time it was like a sigh of relief. I didn’t feel trapped like before nor did I feel the need to patronize them. Any other time I would have forced myself to be polite. I would have offered to refresh their drinks and then I would have gone into another room to prepare the paperwork for the audition I was holding that night. This time it was different. I felt offended, fed up and I was not going to take it. I was not stupid and I wanted Jerry to know I knew what was going on.

Films of smoke covered the apartment and me. That stinking woman sat there puffing her stinking cigarette and looking at me as though I had no right to be there. The stink that covered her didn’t mix well with the Chanel. I wanted to throw up when I walked into the room. Music was playing low and the lights were dimmed. The stinking woman looked at me and smiled a devious, half twisted smile. Then she shook her head to rearrange her hair. She took her lipstick out of her purse, licked her lips and stared at me as she pretended to reapply her lipstick. She smacked and popped her lips, looked at me and started laughing. She put her lipstick back in her purse and settled back into my sofa in a way that made it look like she was becoming more comfortable and preparing for a long stay. Still fixing his clothes, Jerry came, almost running, from the bedroom to greet me. He had a strange look on his face. The woman had a look of disdain on hers.

Jerry looked at the two of them and nervously said, “So, are we ready to go?” Then he looked at me and spoke as he exhaled a long sigh of relief, “I’ll be home a little late. You got rehearsal tonight, don’t you? I may come down there.”

Jerry and Robert grabbed their coats and hurriedly put them on. They were rushing around like rats running from a cat but the woman took her time putting her coat on. She rolled her eyes at me, laughed a few times and moved slowly toward the door.

She was about to step into the hallway when I said, “Excuse me! Who are you?

She took a long puff from her cigarette, blew the smoke in my direction and exhaled as she spoke. “You don’t want to know who I am.” She looked me from head to toe as she spoke and then she turned her back toward me and started walking toward the door again.

“I wasn’t finished. And turning your back on me is not a good option for you right now, so look at me when I talk to you.”

She stopped and dropped her cigarette on the floor, rubbed it into my carpet and turned slowly toward me. “Like I said,” she whispered with a smirk on her face but in a low, angry voice. “You don’t want to know who I am!”

By that time I had walked over and stood about an inch away from her. I thought about slapping her but decided against it. Instead, I said, “It is perfectly clear to me what you are! Now, I want to know who you are…as in what’s your name and why are you in my apartment?”

She threw her hand up and motioned for me to step away from her. I stepped closer to her, so much so it was uncomfortable not just for her, but for me. I stood so close to her it forced her to take a step back. Robert laughed nervously as he put his arms between us and tried to wedge us apart. He couldn’t get us apart so he jerked her arm and pulled her away from me. He finally got her far enough away to stand between us.

“She’s with me, her name is Blascey.”

I looked into her eyes almost daring her to move them away from mine. “Can you talk or are you dumb, Blascey?”

She looked at me with more hatred and arrogance in her eyes than I’d ever seen before.

“I ain’t the dumb one,” she snapped.

She tried to reach around Robert to hit me. She smiled a crooked smile and blew what remained of her stinking smoke in my direction again.

I shook my head to shake some of the stink off but her breath still seeped into my nostrils. Then I pinched my nose to stop the pervading smell from infiltrating my nostrils.

“Let me tell you just how dumb you are. You are sitting in my apartment with the smell of my husband all over you. You didn’t have the good sense or good grooming habits to wash yo’ stinking butt before putting on Chanel. I could hurt you really bad and no one would blame me for it. Robert can’t help you and Jerry won’t help you if I decide to tear you apart, so I’d say you are dumb, pretty damn dumb.” I took my hand from my nose and turned my head toward the bedroom and sniffed. Next I turned toward the bathroom and sniffed and then I turned to face her again. “I’d say you two were in the bedroom no more than five minutes ago and in the bathroom no more than three minutes ago. So, if you think I don’t know what you were doing here then, yeah, I’d say you are the dumb one here tonight.”

She was filled with fear at first and then rage. Robert grinned a sheepish grin and pushed her farther away from me.

“The perfume was the mistake. Smells like someone sprayed Chanel on wet dogs and garbage.” I fanned the air away as I spoke.

Jerry looked at me as though I had embarrassed him. I was feeling good about this confrontation. I had never confronted him or his indiscretions before nor had I ever aggressively confronted anyone. I was always defending myself or my position but this time being the aggressor felt good. I smiled at the thought of my newly found assertive behavior.

I turned to Jerry.

“Are you embarrassed because of something I’ve done? Are you seeing what’s going on here tonight? If not, I certainly do!”

He shook his head in disgust. I had the urge to slap him and I did. I slapped him before I knew it and a battery of accusations and assertions came out of my mouth before I even realized it. I hit him with one question after another and one accusation after the other. Jerry was more embarrassed than ever and I sensed he wanted to slap me back. Instead, he stood there holding his face with one hand and fighting with himself to hold his temper. Blascey and Robert stood in the hallway looking at each other like they had just witnessed something that had never been done before.

Blascey shouted, “I don’t believe this…” and Robert put his hand over her mouth before she could finish the sentence.

I ended my barrage of accusations with, “What you should be embarrassed about is the smell in this apartment. It smells like funky, wet, alley dogs and whores.” I looked at Blascey and took a step toward her, she jumped back … even to her own surprise. “A whore house,” I said with deep disdain, “but you dogs like that smell don’t you, Jerry?” I stared at Blascey while I spoke.

She jumped toward me again and Robert grabbed her. He held her back as if letting her go would result in her running over and beating me senseless. I told him to let her go. He slowly raised both arms as though I had just pulled a gun on him. She looked a little surprised. She was still angry but she never took another step toward me. Instead, she stood there with an angry look on her face and a hateful look in her eyes, puffing her stinking cigarette and blowing her stinking breath and smoke in my direction.

“I thought so, even if you didn’t have the good sense to stay out of my house, you know better than to take another step closer. There is one thing, Blascey; I do want to thank you because you just bought my chains.”

She growled out the words, “Don’t say anything to me.”

Before she realized she had left her purse on the table, I snatched it and threw it at her. It whizzed past her head and hit the elevator door. Everything in it was scattered on the floor. She had a look of disbelief and fear in her eyes. I zeroed in on the fear immediately.

I clenched my teeth and spewed out my words, “Get that crap off of the floor and away from my apartment before I rub your face in it.”

She tried to say something but Robert put his hand over her mouth and held her next to the elevator. I heard the creaking of my neighbor’s door as it moved open wide enough for him to peek out. Blascey stood still while Robert picked up her stuff. Every time she tried to move he shoved her back against the wall.

I turned slowly and looked Jerry up and down. I could feel his growing discomfort.

“Thank you, Jerry, you just freed me from this banishment to hell we called our marriage.”

He had a sad look on his face. His words were filled with pain. “You don’t mean that. You love me. You don’t want this marriage to end.”

I laughed and screamed at the top of my lungs, “You just bought your way out of this marriage and you just let me out of hell! Why on earth would I want a sentence to hell to go on forever? Why would I want to stay in hell when I could get out?” I turned to walk away but I had an afterthought. I turned back to him and laughed out the words, “I just can’t thank you enough.”

J